I'll bite my tongue to not say things out of time.
I'll hold back on playing the game, because there's no other way to call this, backwards and hope that for once we'll do it right.
But being what it is and seeing the way things are, if this time things don't go as planned I won't let myself collapse over it.
You can pause and leave me waiting, and at any given time you may even quit. I honestly just want to play along but if your fears of commitment don't subside I don't mind if you don't give in.

                                                               .but that's still inaccurate.

To be honest with myself and everyone else, if I'm constantly checking my cellphone for any missed calls or messages it's not out of caring. If dial any number and then hesitate it's not because I want to let people know I care. I just want to know I matter to someone. I want to find a secret back door to their minds and enter. I want to bring down the walls in there and hammer away and build something great and big and impossible to ignore.


And then I'd like to wreck it all
                                     and leave a void
                                            and know they miss the great, giant something that used to be there.
                                                       
                                                                and know they miss me
                                                                and know they care.